Life Sucks in Any Kind of Form or Shape
by arjelle
Summary: What happens when the new students thinks that Ruka is her older brother? Or marks Natsume as a threat to Ruka's love life? Or is from the future? Is she cupid? And why the hell am I asking these questions? Just go and read the fanfiction already!


_**Full Title:**_

_**Life sucks in anything and everything. In short, Life Sucks in any shape/form. In EVEN shorter, Life Sucks, so deal with it. AND EVEN FREAKING SHORTER: Life Sucks. **_

_**I DO NOT OWN "GAKUEN ALICE"!**_

ワタシカナラヅシモジカ「学園アリス!

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**S****ummary: **Hikari Miller, a new transfer student enters Gakuen Alice. She is smart, beautiful, and thinks that Ruka is her brother!? In this probably-7+-chapter, follow her in her first week in Gakuen Alice!

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::[A/N]::

YOOO-!!! What's up!?!?

ヨオオオオ-! ウプデスカ!?!?

Yes, and I'm learning Japanese and practicing it in Katakana too!

ソシテワタシゴゼンホウジンソシテナレソレオイテカタカナニモ, ハイデス!

Enjoy the Chapter!

エジョイソノブンカイ!

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•Alice Academy Journal•

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**Day o0: **Let the MADNESS Begin!

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[Obviously Hikari's POV.]

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It was a sunny bright day, when I was in that black limo. I just had left onii-chan, Meru-Chan, Chiyo-Chan [All from Fly High! Which I do not [obviously] own! ], and Hiroto-Kun behind because I have an Alice. Anne-Chan just had a breakdown saying—erm, SCREAMING: "OH NOOOOEZZ! I'VE ADDED MORE CHARACTERS!!! CRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAP!!!" Or something like that. I dunno, it's ANNE. She's a… freak-o-insane-10-year-old-author-who-curses. Cod, it's like saying/writing: "Itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-yellow-polka-dotted-bikini-that-she-was-wearing-for-the-first-time-today!" But shorter.

Okay…anyways… if I'm not where onii-chan is…then he'll lose his woman (A.K.A.: Meru-Chan)! I predict that some bad omen will happen for them. Sigh.

So, that leads me to my Alice(s): The Prediction Alice and the Mind/Heart Reading Alice. My Prediction Alice allows me to tell the future. And also, you're probably wondering about the heart reading part of my other Alice. You know about the first one: I can read minds. As I would say (all the time): "Your mind isn't safe anymore (Insert name here) and neither are your feelings too!". Ok, back to the topic. My heart reading Alice allows me to tell a person's actual feelings for something, so—okay to shorten it, a noun.

For example, if you're acting that you don't like a person by torturing them, I can read your mind, as well as your feelings for that person to see if you really hate them or not.

Back to me: I have short strawberry blonde hair and cherry red eyes. My hair is tied into two short "loose" pig tails. Although, the end of the pigtails is tied to the flower clips I wear. The flower was fuzzy-like and was bendable. The color of that clip was olive-green and it had no insides. And I came from the future. The only reason I came here was to restore it! What was the problem? My parents died in a fire that's what happened! I could tell that the man who burned our house down was being controlled like a marionette because his eyes looked dull, and well, like I said I have the mind/heart reading Alice!

My parents are actually Meru-Chan and Onii-Chan. Onii-Chan found me lying in the park ground during a rainy day in America, which I strangely time-traveled back there to. He took me as his own little sister too! By acting the part, I acted like a little sister: Annoying! So what that's our job, so deal with it 'cuz he usually slaps me with a paper fan when I try (and succeed) in talking street. I know he's jealous because I can yo-!

Ugh. I feel that his "Paper-Fan-Smacking" senses are tingling right now.

Anyways, when I saw Onii-Chan kissing Meru-Chan in the classroom in my old school, I knew that they were my parents! And I keep on saying to Onii-Chan:

"If you don't act now, you're gonna lose her woman!"

And he replies: "Who is my woman anyways?"

And I reply: "Meru."

(By the way this is the first time I said this.) He was in my "4 Stages of OMG!".

**[1]:** Shock. Which means…**[2]: **Dumbfounded. Then the usual…**[3]: **WHACK! Freaking paper fan! I dunno what he made it with, because I can't cut it! Then…**[4]: **Walking away.

Which is me getting a result of: "Nii-Chan LOVES Meru-Chan!"

When I say that around him constantly, he tries to ignore it. But when Meru-Chan is around, he clamps his hand over my hand so you could just hear my muffling.

I stepped out of the limo wearing a jean jacket (without sleeves), a white shirt that had a drawing of a light pink rose flower that was surrounded by blue roses, white roses, pink roses, celandines, and Azaleas. My favorite flowers. They all have a meaning. If you want to know, look it up in . All of them-except Azaleas are in the section called "Language of Flowers" and Azalea is in "Hanakotoba" which is the Japanese version of the previous section.

Ok—back to my clothing! I was wearing a blue jean jacket without the sleeves, my t-shirt filled flowers (drawings people!) that had short sleeves, my blue jean shorts, white socks that reached a little over than my knee, brown boots, and jade sunglasses that had a shading up-to-bottom, dark-to-light.

Everyone was gawking at me, why? I'm freaking cute/beautiful for cod's sakes! That's what they would think. I blame my parents. They're just as beautiful/cute/handsome as the most beautiful/cute/handsome people on Earth. I could've just worn by sunglasses, boots, socks, and shorts (so no perverts can look above it) but no—they said on the phone (which I thought was hilarious): "Oh Shit! We ran out! Please be patient! NARUMI! ORDER 400 MORE FEMALE AND MALE UNIFORMS FOR EVEY SINGLE DIVISION RIGHT NOW!"

And in the background we (Nii-Chan and I) heard: "O-okay Ami-Sama!"

Nii-Chan and I chuckled and thought that Ami was my Elementary School principal.

After Nii-Chan read the letter that was given to him (About Alice Academy) he said: "You better do well on your exams."

And I replied: "So I can match-make you and Meru-Chan, Nii-Chan?"

Then a whack was expected. And that prediction happened'th my customers! Want me to give me your prediction!? Then call (insert random phone number here) for your prediction now!

Is what a stupid commercial would say to fish for the most gullible people on Earth to do so. That is why we tape our shows at home. But still, stupid people are kinda cute in their own stupidly honest way! Heh, another reason why Nii-Chan loves Meru-Chan! Meru Miller…has a nice ring to it ne?

So I walked over to the head office. I was currently writing in this daily—erm secondly journal (Nii-Chan forced me to so I wasn't writing; I programmed it to take note every single second.) While I was listing to this super cute fan dub of Singles by Koharu Kusumi AKA Kirari Tsukishima. The fan dub was from , and one way or another; I managed to download the medley. It's called: "Kirarin Revolution medley [Epic Fail Dub]" by a user named: "Mirakochan" What the title said is a total LIE! It's not a fail! It is super freaking cute! So are Kirari and her costumes! Even though I haven't even seen the anime/manga. But I've only seen the first episode of the anime though.

"Ah! Hikari-Chan!" The principal called while she was trying to stop the fire burning. It was caused by the huge stack of papers that lead all the way to the Sun. No, that would be an understatement. It was caused by the freakishly enormous pile of papers that lead all the way to the freakishly enormous sphere of fire that would eventually kill us until its fire is out!!!!

"I predict this part of the Academy in ashes in minutes if you don't put this out soon." I said to her while still looking at the flaming pile of papers in a "=.=" emotion.

"I blame Jin-Jin if the country—or world is forming an angry mob!" She yelled.

"YOU WHAT NOW!?" Jin-Jin, the frog man, as I've heard yelled. He looked quite elegant, but he somehow said something in street form.

OH MY COD! Street people are taking over! We SHOULD BE PANICKING! IRNOICLY, THE MUSIC I'M LISTING TO BE ALL HAPPY LIKE AND CHEERY! Which is called "Pikapika no Taiyou" by Kana Udea.

_**JIRI JIRI to nari hibiku mezamashite okosareta**_

_**GIRA GIRI to taiyou ga kyou mo mata zekkouchou**_

_**memutai me kosutte wa kimi no senaka oikakete**_

_**kake ashi de tsumazuite koron de wa ochikonda**_

"WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Ami-Sama shouted.

_**jyugyouchuu sora wo mite**_

_**BOKARI kuchi wo akeru atama ni**_

_**meichuu shita kamihikouki no MESSEJI**_

"WE'RE GONNA BE SUED!" Jin-Jin panicked while he and Ami-Sama were panicking while failing their arms around. Is everyone here mentally insane? However, I got over the fact, and decided if I die, I'll match-make Meru-Chan and Onii-Chan!

_**"itsumo itsumo waratte te"**_

They kept on panicking then I screamed: "SHUT THE F UP YOU F-ING STAFF!"

They shut up and I sang along while disaster was striking:

_**ima kimi no sugu soba de wakachi aeru mainichi**_

_**donna konnan datte tobikoerareru**_

_**ashita wo futari de mukaerareru you ni ne**_

_**kumori zora no hi datte shiawase iro de warau kara**_

_**PIKA PIKA no taiyou no you ni**_

"How are you calm to all of this mayhem Hikari-Chan?" Ami asked.

"One, I need to focus on my will which is on non-flammable paper. Two, I can match-make my Onii-Chan and his woman!" I snickered as I kept on scribbling words on the paper.

_**CHIRI CHIRI to koboreteku sunadokei mitumete wa**_

_**KIRA KIRA to namida shita kyou no kimi zetsufuchou??**_

_**urunda me kimi no senaka sotto tataki**_

_**omoikkiri hohoen de taiyou ni sasayaita**_

"Well life sucks." Jin-Jin stated.

"At least it doesn't suck you balls!" I snickered as I kept on scribbling on the paper.

"True." Ami-Sama told me. I kept on singing the song while I was writing on that N-F paper.

_**"motto motto warau kara"**_

"Hello~ Everyone~!" A voice sang. Oh, it must be that guy called Narumi. I like him, he can stay calm AND be happy in current disasters!

"Just getting some coffee!" He added while smiling all the way through the other side of the building.

Haha… I'll mark him as my favorite teacher. Why? Because…he's ignoring this disaster that might cause a lot of lawsuits of course!

_**ima kimi no sugu soba de wakachi aeru mainichi**_

_**donna naidai datte toki susumeru yo**_

_**ashita wo egao de mukaerareru you ni ne**_

_**ame no sora no hi datte futari issho de waraou ne**_

_**PIKA PIKA no taiyou no you ni**_

I grabbed my will, put it in a glass I emptied (which I later found out was alcohol) splashed it over me like perfume, then I tossed it out of the window. I heard a cry screaming: "OW!" Then I sat down and began to finish the song in which, I nor Anne-Sama does not own while I was on fire literally. When I got on fire I was like: "WOO!"

_**ima kimi no sugu soba de wakachi aeru mainichi**_

_**donna konnan datte tobikoe rareru**_

_**ashita wo futari de mukaerareru you ni ne**_

_**kumori zora no hi datte shiawase iro de warau kara**_

_**PIKA PIKA no taiyou no you ni**_

I smiled happily until the fire died. DAMN! I was looking forward into dying too! And **FUCK! **I was still beautiful/cute! DAAAMNNN LIIIFEEE!!! YOU HATE ME SOO DON'T YOU!?

I changed in a millisecond and stepped outside because Ami-Sama and Jin-Jin ordered me to. SCREW THEM! But nooo! I have to be a 3 Star + to go home! DAMN THIS F-ING S#!T OF A SYSTEM!

"Who put the fire out!?" I asked gritting my teeth.

"Why do you even wanted to die?" A brunette asked me. She had brunette hair and hazel eyes. I read her mind, and she was named "Mikan Sakura".

"Because, I can match-make my Onii-Chan and his woman." I stated.

"Ah." The brunette sighed.

"And I could of done that to them, if it weren't for one of you students!" I growled.

"You stole that line." A boy stated. He had jet black hair and crimson red eyes. Same with Mikan-Chan, and his name was Natsume Hyuuga.

"When are you from? The 80's? Or did you got that from Cartoon Network you panty-peeking-pervert-who-actually-sneaks in-the girl's bathroom?" I smirked.

"KYAAAH!" All of the girls shrieked.

"HE SAW US NAKED! I'M GLAD!" All of the girls, excluding some shrieked.

"NATSUME YOU HENTAI!!" Mikan-Chan shrieked.

"Hotaru, may I borrow your Baka Gun Ver.9.9?" Mikan asked.

"Yes, if you give me--" The jet black haired and amethyst eyed girl started, named Hotaru Imai started.

Mikan dropped 50 "rabbits" In her hand. Rabbits, which I read from the school handbook are the school's currency. Strange. Why do they need their own—ahh. I get it. So that they'll earn it, not to be given from the outside world!

Mikan grabbed Hotaru's Baka Gun with her face red in anger stomping over to Natsume, pointing at him then began shooting the mystery objects that shot out from that gun at him. To my amusement, I was filming that sight.

"Meru-Chan might want to come here and bring Nii-Chan and Chiyo-Chan along with her so that she can make this school better while I match-make her and Onii-Chan together after she sees this film." I whispered to myself.

All I can say right now while Hotaru-Chan and I are filming the sight of Mikan beating Natsume up (Who is thinking of his revenge for her later, and decided to singe her hair) while the fan girls are worrying over him while thinking of ways to kill Mikan too, and while I was filming with Hotaru-Chan, I was thinking of ways to stop them from killing her while Hotaru-Chan was thinking of a way to sell her newest pictures of some guy named Ruka Nogi…(Hey! He and Onii-Chan have the same name, except his surname is Nogi while Nii-Chan's is Miller! I wonder if they look alike?)

…That the madness has just begun here at Alice Academy including all of the divisions, classes, abilities, forests, ect.

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•End of Day 00•

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::[A/N]::

Okay, I wanted to make another humor fic after I just read a hilarious story! It's called, "_So Not Your Typical Story" _by _Heartbroken Confession. _And I got inspired. 4 hours later….XD. Okay, so I decided that run-on sentences are the new fad (for me) in humor! And also mixing my OCs from "Fly High!" with "Gakuen Alice" is really fun! Oh and I disclaim any other titles I forgot I put in and to disclaim during the story too. And by the way, I took about _**3 f-ing hours **_working on this one chapter, 9 pages, 3,060+ words (probably), and probably 14,000+ characters on this damn thing! So show some appreciation please for my work I worked my butt, fingers, imagination, bones, back, and other body parts from. Anyways…

- _**Love, crap ,and shit from Anne Tsukurite-**_

_**[A.K.A.: Noisette-Tan, the insane freak.]**_


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